Jenna’s 140 Thoughts While She Watched Jurassic World! (SPOILERS ABOUND!)

Jurassic_World

Jenna selfieHaving been born in the mid-80s, I grew up during a wonderful time of television shows, movies, and pop culture. However, having to live through the zany culture of the 00s, I craved a time where Saturday mornings were filled with cartoons and Friday nights were designated TGIF

Little six year old me was a big fan of Jurassic Park when it came out in 1993, and ever since then JP has held a special place in my heart because a.) Made me love dinosaurs, b.) Allowed for some quality bonding time while watching with my Dad, c.) It gave me the dream of going into Paleontology and/or Archaeology, and d.) It was one of the first movies that truly scared me!

Naturally, when I heard that there would be a new installment into the franchise, the excitement almost overwhelmed me. You do not know how long I danced around my house in jubilation. Or maybe you do, if you reacted the same way I did to the news.

I counted the months, weeks, and days until the release was finally upon me, and I couldn’t help but drag my entire family with me to see it opening weekend. The first time I saw it, I was hypnotized with how well this installment fit in with my other beloved JP movies. The second time, I knew I had to get my thoughts down onto paper. Therefore without further ado:

140 Thoughts I Had While Watching Jurassic World!

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Scified.com

1) Ohh, it’s an egg! And it’s hatching! And another. Okay, zoom shot back to the other. That, in addition to the creepy music in the background doesn’t bode well.

2) What dino has that kind of foot? Oh, never mind, that’s a bird.

3) I think I had that same viewfinder slide as a kid.

4) I think we now have another candidate for overly attached girlfriend. Talk about clingy.

5) Oh no. Mom looks like her heart is breaking. Does she know her kids are probably dino food?

6) Hey, the older boy looks a LOT like Sean Astin in The Goonies. Does Sean have a son? Oh my gosh, can he be the lead in the new Goonies movie?

7) Wait… last family breakfast? Why aren’t the parents going? What’s going on there? I’m wary of this. Did they purposely send their kids off to be dino food?

8) That’s a nice boat. I want that boat.

9) Okay, good to know that the older brother is over the clingy blonde he left back home in the snow.

10) Hey, it’s Katie McGrath! I love her. I miss Merlin. I hope she doesn’t die.


Image: Bloody-Disgusting.com
Bloody-Disgusting.com

11) That’s an awesome tram. Is this place real? I want it to be real.

12) OMG! THOSE ARE THE GATES!

13) Gray is my spirit animal when it comes to dinosaurs. I remember being that age and watching JP wanting to be a paleontologist. Why did I ever stop wanting to be a Fossil Hunter? Oh yeah, I was told I’d never get anywhere – or make any money – having that as a profession.

14) Wow. That’s a million dollar room. Just solidified that I want this park to be real.

15) Gene splicing. That sounds ominous.

16) Indominus Rex. I don’t know what that means. Is that name supposed to mean something? The Rex part doesn’t give good vibes, but using a form of the word indomitable makes me even more so.

17) Wait… that’s the DNA guy from the first movie! So glad he didn’t die! I hope he doesn’t die in this movie.


BD Wong Jurassic World1
bp.blogspot.com

18) Wait, they already made her? Wow. So, that’s what was in the eggs in the beginning.

19) I think my Mom’s asleep *looks over at her* Yup. Smh.

20) HOLY HOLOGRAPHIC BRONTOSAURUS, BATMAN! I want a machine that will do that!

21) I wish I never gave up the dream to dig up dino bones…

22) Whoa, that kid knows more about DNA than I think I ever learned throughout school and college combined. (Rocks for Jocks (aka Geology) never afforded such scientific terms.)

23) I wish I could rock an inverted bob. I also wish I could rock red hair.

24) That’s a pretty awesome map of the island, but the “restricted area” makes me wary.


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eonline.com

25) Omg. Nick Miller… AND HE’S WEARING A JURASSIC PARK SHIRT! $150 for a shirt on eBay? I paid $10 for mine at Target. Dude, you were ripped off.

26) Nick Miller has dino figures on his desk. Yes, I need to marry his character. I hope he doesn’t die.

27) Who is that? Masrani? What’s this about his park? Did he buy it from Hammond? Okay, I gotcha. “Are the animals enjoying life?” I like this guy already. I hope he doesn’t die.

28) Ohh! Flying a helicopter looks cool! I want to learn how to fly a helicopter.

29) Bryce Dallas Howard looks like she needs to relax. But then again, if I had to run a park where the animals may very well eat you every day, I’d be stressed too. Is this how Zookeepers feel all the time?

30) “The key to a happy life is to accept that you are never actually in control.” Very nice, and very true.

31) Oh, Hammond died. =( (Which I knew the actor did, but I didn’t know how they were going to play it out in the movie. Rest well, Sir Richard Attenborough.)

32) “It’s white. You didn’t tell me it’s white.” Is there something wrong with having a white dinosaur, sir? Does it really matter the color of her scale pigmentation? I mean, they made a new species of dinosaur!!

33) SHE ATE THE SIBLING? Holy crap! What did they mix together to make that dino?


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inquisitr.com

34) Umm… Raptors. Did CHRIS PRATT JUST COMMAND A RAPTOR LIKE A DOG? WHAT IS THIS SORCERY??

35) He did, and he does! Is it sad to say that was hotter than anything I’ve seen in a long time? Cause it was.

36) Who is this guy wearing the shirt that’s too small for his gut? I don’t like him. I hope he gets eaten. Does he not realize that Raptors aren’t really dogs, and can’t be trained to be used to fight one particular side in a war?

37) Owen Brady, you are one crazy for doing that move.

38) “Don’t ever turn your back to the cage.” Good to know. Note taken.

39) I find that the InGen guy and Chris Pratt walking off in different directions very symbolic. Something is going to happen there.

40) Ohh! Triceratops rides? This place beats Disney World hands down! Possibly even Universal, even though Universal houses the Jurassic Park area.

41) I want a Bronto Balloon.

42) They’re now at the T-Rex paddock. YES! Oh, look a goat. And a flare. That must be symbolic, too. What’s the flare for, though?

43) Oh, the parents are getting divorced. I get that comment now. Poor family. Now I want to cry.

44) Owen’s working on a motorcycle. That’s hot, too.


45) Haha! Okay, so they’re together. Good to know. Or, not so. Or will be. Yeah, will be. There’s some chemistry there. I call it now.

46) I have to say that I love his laugh. It’s awesome, and seems like a real guffaw versus a fake chuckle most people try to pass off.

47) “Who prints out an itinerary for a date?” “I’m an organized person.” “What kind of diet doesn’t allow for tequila?” “All of them actually. And what kind of man shows up to a date in board shorts?” “It’s Central America. It’s hot.” This exchange was everything to me. It showed me a lot about the dynamic between Claire and Owen.

48) That splash zone for the Mosasaurs just solidified that I want Jurassic World to be a real amusement park.

49) Oh man, Owen knows a lot about all types of dinosaurs. Owen’s pretty and smart. Double trouble. Ovaries, calm down.

50) Wait, no heat signature detected. How did it get out? CLAW MARKS? She climbed out?


screen-shot-2014-11-25-at-4-41-10-pm-what-s-the-new-jurassic-world-dinosaur-going-to-be-like-trailer-released-png-18283251) That guard looks scared witless. He’s going to die, isn’t he?

52) Still in the cage? How does that happen? Uh oh. RUN, CHRIS PRATT! RUN!

53) And she’s out now. Way to go. I blame it all on the guy who was running the gate. Where is he now?

54) Good, Owen. Hide under the car. She’ll never find you there.

55) What kind of claws does she have? She’s part T-Rex, but no small arms. Are those RAPTOR CLAWS? I’m calling it now, part Raptor.

56) Good, mask your scent to it. That may work. But who knows with this dino. She’s one bad girl.

57) What big teeth you have there, my pretty. I’m sure they’re all the better to eat people with, right?

58) “Everyone remain calm?”  You just let loose a man-made monster on an inescapable island. Calm went out the window the second I knew the dino was smarter than most.

59) Nick Miller’s character kind of reminds me of Newman’s from the first JP movie. I hope he isn’t a traitor. I hope he doesn’t die.

60) Seriously, what’s this InGen guy’s deal? He’s just weird. His wife came at him with a steak knife? I see why. I would, too.


vincent_donofrio_jurassic_world
Spinoff

61) Dude, you really don’t know your history of the park. All the animals are girls. To prevent unauthorized breeding. (But look how well that turned out for Isla Sorna…)

62) There are some chicken dinos I can never remember names of. Why can’t I ever remember their names?

63) Okay, younger bro knows about the divorce. Poor guy, I want to give him a hug.

64) “I don’t want two of everything.” Oh the poor baby!

65) Ugh. Determined Chris Pratt is hawt. (Sorry Anna Faris, your husband is pretty. Please don’t hate me for looking. I promise never to touch unless it’s to shake his hand if we ever meet.)

66) Where’s the dino if the tracker is going off? Wait, what is that? Did it remove part of its flesh to keep from being tracked? Holy crap, what kind of brain does this thing have?

67) OMG, IT CAN CAMOUFLAGE??

68) RIP those poor people who tried to reign in that dino.

69) Yeah, I want to speak with the lab about the genes they used for this beast, too, because there’s some surely unregistered crap that they used.

70) Uh oh. They got in a hamster ball just as a warning has been issued to return to the resort. Not good. Come back, boys, it’s a trap!


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Halloweenlove

71) Cuttlefish? That’s one thing I didn’t think would be in a dino.

72) And tree frog?

73) Starting to not like the DNA guy anymore. He can get eaten, after all.

74) Hey, there’s Jimmy Fallon. I love him. And isn’t that the venom that got Newman in the first movie? Yup. Hehe, he just paralyzed himself.

75) Yeah, I want one of the hamster balls, and I want to ride it in a field of dinosaurs. Life. Made.

76) Good idea. Get the Raptor specialist to go after your nephews with you!

77) Boys…bad idea! Don’t go off-roading into bad territory.

78) Haha! Oh poor Owen. Sorry, you can look her up and down all you want, but she doesn’t want you like that just yet. Just save the boys first.

79) Umm, yeah. Listen to baby bro, Bro. There’s a dino behind you, and it’s a real monster.

80) Well, it almost has a sweet face. You know, if it hadn’t already killed a heck lot of people and other animals.

81) Wow, that thing has one heck of a jaw expanse. I’m thinking part snake, too. What’s that called again? Unhinged? No, that doesn’t sound right.


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The Insightful Panda

82) JUMP BOYS! JUMP!

83) It just crouched down like a monkey would! What kind of hodgepodge have they cooked up in that lab?

84) Oh no, poor Little Foot! I hope he’ll be okay. Okay, maybe not.

85) This dino kills for sport?

86) Chris Pratt… today is the day you become an Avenger, and you avenge that poor Bronto herd. Wait… wrong movie franchise. Whatever.

87) “I was with the Navy, not the Navaho.” But you’re doing a splendid job of tracking her nephews so far there, bud.

88) “It’s like taking a stroll through the woods… 65 million years ago.” And here’s where I start to get scared witless.


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Dailydot

89) THOSE ARE THE ORIGINAL COMPOUND DOORS! They’ve found the original Jurassic Park!

90) Ohh, and listen to that piano in the background. Original theme taken to a slower, creepier level. I LOVE it!

91) I wonder if any of the dinos from the first movie could have been alive in this movie. I mean, you know, not in real life, but in movie life. (Or did they just start all over with new dino embryos and go from there?)

92) Kid, don’t put those thermal binoculars down; they may come in handy. Okay, never mind, put them down…

93) Good, they got a Jeep up and running. That doesn’t scream disaster to me.

94) Boys, maybe you should stay there where it’s safe. Or not… Oh man, and their aunt just missed them.

95) Masrani is going to die, isn’t he? By dino or chopper, I don’t know yet.


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Overmental.com

96) Okay, technically it’s dino THEN chopper.

97) “Containment anomaly”? Try “Containment failure” instead.

98) Man, is Claire still in those heels from earlier? And she’s running? I wish I could slowly walk in heels, let alone run!

99) I’d be that guy running with the Margaritas. Wait. Is that JIMMY BUFFET?

100) Oh no. There goes Katie McGrath. Death by bird. Then by big sea monster. RIP.

101) Wow. That was a kiss for behind closed doors. But yeah, if a girl saves your life, in the midst of mass panic is a good of a place as any, too.

102) I’ve seen too many Marvel movies that I keep expecting a Stan Lee cameo in everything. Wait, he’s not in this movie, is he?

103) Who are these people taking over the control room?

104) Where has Ian Malcolm been? I need to see Jeff Goldblum in this movie. He should have played a predominate role.


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Cinema52.com

105) LANGUAGE!

106) The kids are right; I don’t want to leave Owen’s side either. He knows his stuff.

107) “Do not shoot my Raptors.” Yeah, don’t do that; even I’d be mad.

108) Nothing terrifies me, yet thrills me more than a Raptor yell.

109) Aww, brotherly bonding. I love it. I miss my sister. Stupid college.

110) The kids are right again. Her boyfriend IS a bada**.

111) Who would have thought to take a pack of Raptors and teach them to work with humans? I mean, that borders on crazy. But then again so is bringing back animals that were extinct millions of years ago

112) Wait… are the Raptors and the Big Bad communicating? Does this confirm my theory that they used Raptor genes in the splicing?

113) YES! It is! Holy crap! Called it!

114) Gentlemen, you’re supposed to be the best of the best, and you’re acting like a bunch of Stormtroopers out there. You can’t even hit the broad side of a barn!


Jurassic-World_990x494115) I know that speedy flash in the dark. Raptor attack in 3… 2… okay, that was quicker than I thought.

116) I wish I could tell the Raptors apart. Was that Delta or was that Blue? I’ll just call it Delta Blue.

117) Man, those Raptors are resilient creatures.

118) Ohh…I really don’t like Scientist dude anymore. What were they trying to do with this new dino, anyway? Why isn’t he dead yet?

119) Oh… Poor Nick Miller. Rejected. Maybe it’s the pornstache. That would turn me off, too.

120) Well, I now know what that guy is trying to pull. Bad form, dude. Trying to play god all for a military edge.

121) Heh, JUSTICE SERVED!

122) Clever boy to use the holographic imager like that.


Digests
Digests

123) Oh man, mutiny never looked so vicious.

124) There’s going to be a sequel, right? Let me name it… Hmm, I’m going to call it, The Fast and the Ferocious.

125) I keep wanting to see one of the Raptors just lick Chris Pratt’s face. Can that be a blooper? Cause that would be fun.

126) Aww, it acknowledged CP as his dad. That’s … WHAT THE HELL?!?

127) What is it going to take to kill that guy?

128) What did she grab out of the First Aid kit? What kind of dino fighting thing is in there? Wait, where are you going?

129) What’s in Paddock 9? WHAT’S IN PADDOCK 9?


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Indierevolver

130) Gasp… FLARE! She went for the REX!

131) And how is she still running in heels? Man, I envy that.

132) Oh wow. This is an epic fight. This is better than Godzilla vs. anything!

133) Rexy!

134) Wait, there’s still a Raptor.

135) Well, there’s not a Margaritaville on Isla Nublar anymore. I’m pretty disappointed that I can’t go there now.


margaritaville136) WHAT? I didn’t see THAT coming! Well… that Mosasaurs may not be hungry anymore.

137) Did a Raptor and the T-Rex just come to an understanding and part ways under mutually agreeable circumstances? I believe they just did. That’s odd.

138) So, are the parents still divorced? Cause I’m pretty sure the almost loss of both your children may be the push they needed to stay together.

139) “Stay together for survival…” Sure. Survival. Right.

140) T-Rex is still king of the jungle… never forget that!

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ytimg.com

Having seeing this movie multiple times now, I can safely say that I believe that Jurassic World can easily take the spot for best movie of 2015. It was filled with action, science, wonder, adventure, and DINOSAURS! Everything that makes a good movie great is in it. (And the Marvel fangirl in me even acknowledges that Age of Ultron takes a back seat in terms of fan satisfaction.)

Already, JW has busted through box office records; making just shy of $550 million dollars worldwide, according to Box Office Mojo, and it is expected to reach even farther as it remains in theaters for the summer.

So, kudos to you, Jurassic World for your total domination in theaters. And thank you for bringing back part of my childhood, and making my late-20s a magical time again.

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