Today, September 15, 2015, is my wife’s birthday. To celebrate the occasion, I want to dedicate this post to her. For all the geeks, who are currently in or seeking a relationship, I would like to show how to create, maintain, and keep a geektastic one.
The first step to any relationship is to have something in common. If you cannot find something in common it is very hard for a relationship to last. For our relationship it was wrestling. She was a fan of The People’s Champ The Rock, and I was a fan of the Texas Rattlesnake “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. It didn’t matter that we were rooting for two different individuals, we were able to joke around and begin flirting because of it. Another common interest was video games. She was a Nintendo person, and I grew up playing Sega and PlayStation. But playing on different systems didn’t matter as there was a common love of playing video games.
To go along with common interests, you have to have a respect for your differences and support them. Music has always been one of our biggest differences. We both grew up on music from the 80’s and 90’s, so there were times we found common interest. But overall the music we listened to every day was vastly different. My listening tastes involved metal, grunge, alternative, and southern rock, and her tastes involved boy bands, Mo-Town, and CCM (Contemporary Christian Music). There were times that we fought over what to listen to, but over time we could compromise, and some of each other’s taste in music rubbed off on the other.
One of the times that Robin supported me, even though she did not understand the obsession, was when I was collecting comics. I would go every other week, or once a month, and collect the comics that I had pulled for the month. For my birthday or Valentine’s Day, she would go and pick up the issues in my folder for me.
Be open to things you might not initially like. There are two instances that I can remember her interests rubbing off on me. First, Robin has always been a big fan of Cher. She would play her greatest hits CD continuously in her car. Over time, I secretly started to find the songs catchy and found myself singing them.
Saturday Night Live is another instance. She has always loved SNL, and I had never watched it. She would record it on Saturday nights (Because she couldn’t stay up late enough to watch it) and on Sunday’s she would bring it over to my house and we would watch it. Once I gave it a chance, I found it enjoyable and occasionally would look forward to watching it.
If you are both competitive, learn how to and enjoy competing against one another. I have always picked things up fairly fast. We would spend a lot of time playing board games, card games, or video games competing against one another. Most of time we would play something that Robin was teaching me how to play. Usually, after a couple of plays through, I would begin to get close to beating her and eventually surpass her. After I beat her, things would get heated and competitive, but win or lose we always looked forward playing against one another, and still do to this day (Even if tables are turned over in anger).
There are thousands of more examples that I could list, but hopefully this will help someone have a relationship as great as the one we have had.
Hey guys! This is your Editor-in-Chief, Aaron. Below is a response from Jarred’s wife, Robin. She edited the piece and wanted to know if I could print a response from her and I agreed to. This is actually the first time Jarred will be seeing this. So…Hi Jarred!
This response does touch on religion and faith. I do want to clarify that the beliefs stated below do not represent all our blog ‘s contributors. I am happy to call each and everyone of them my friends first and I would never want to misrepresent them in any way. Robin is also a very good friend of mine and I wanted to print this very sweet and sincere response to her husband’s post that includes some other things that make their relationship work. In short, I love all my friends! I hope you enjoy the response.
Hello, I’m Jarred’s wife, Robin. I have never penned (or typed, as it were) a blog before, but I felt like maybe I could add a thing or two to this blog that my husband has shared about our relationship.
First, I’m sure you’re saying, “Um, I don’t know you. Why should I take your relationship advice?” Good question! We’ve been together for 16 years this month and married for 9 years this November. So, that makes us highly qualified to throw out advice, and truly, we do hope it sticks somewhere and helps someone else.
My husband is incredibly sweet, handsome and funny. It’s no wonder I picked him. We created 3 beautiful children together. It is not always easy, they say, but for us, I really disagree. Our relationship is easy. We do get aggravated at each other, but we are never angry and we never fight. I attribute this happy and easy marriage to one moment in my life: Marriage counseling.
We were counseled by our pastor at that time, Alan Collier, and Val Lee with Robin Mullins. Val’s first words have been deeply engraved in my heart and mind, and I carry this with me always: Submit to your husband. Well, good thing I respected and loved Val so dearly, because that is not “how I was raised”! All the women in my family are loud and assertive. I follow that trait, and sometimes it can be a burden. But, because Val explained this to me, I do submit to the authority of my husband. Likewise, my husband is a man that strives to live a Godly life. Because of this, he seeks my counsel in most things and it works out for us. But, anytime I dole out advice, I always make sure to say this first. We are Christians and we (try to) follow God’s advice in this area. He is love, so we try to show love the way it’s recommended to us.
My last bit of advice would be this: have the same or similar long term goals. Don’t think you will be able to change your significant others’ life decision on a things like children, it will only break your heart down the road. We do not typically disagree on money because we both have similar goals on the long-term use of our money. We are able to stay on our budget because we love to travel and because we share this goal of traveling with our family, we can sacrifice accordingly throughout the year to reach those goals.
OK, so that’s it. I’m much more serious when it comes to giving advice, apparently. But I don’t write blogs because I’m certain no one wants to hear tips on how to change a cloth diaper so fast that you don’t get peed on or tricks to traveling on a cruise with Carnival while 6 months pregnant and with two kids. Those are the things I know about.
Much love from one geek to another!