Tax Returns and A Geek’s Guide to $pending It!

Daniel Robinson

April can be a truly beautiful month. The dawn of spring and rebirth of nature make for one of the most unique times of the year. Unfortunately, it’s also the time that Americans are forced to file tax returns. Every year at this time, I find myself crouched over my computer analyzing W-2s, 1098Es, 1099s, 10-4s, & B-52s.

It’s exhausting, confusing, and terrible. I suppose however that all that eye-straining and number crunching is worth it, IF your lucky enough to get a refund.

While so-called “responsible” adults will tell you that you need to save a refund for a rainy day or spend it on things like bills and groceries, I say that’s a bunch of hooey. Uncle Sam gave you that money to blow on something geeky, expensive, and completely unnecessary. And I’m here to guide you to the perfect things to start your collection.


 

Replica Swords

Nothing brings a room together like Aragorn’s Narsil or Jon’s Snow’s Longclaw mounted on your walls. Replica swords from your favorite geeky shows, movies, or books are perfect for living rooms, kitchens, bathrooms, or nurseries. They are excellent conversation starters and, in a pinch, can serve as protection from would-be burglars.
Somewhat surprisingly, replica swords aren’t crazy expensive (usually in the $150 to $300 range), so a really good refund could get you three or four of these bad boys for multiple rooms and impromptu cross-fandom swords fights. A few of my favorites include:

From Left to Right:

Longclaw (Game of Thrones); Narsil (LoTR); Sword of Angelus (Buffy the Vampire Slayer); Claymore (Braveheart)

 


 

Busts/Statutes

If mounting cold, hard steel to your walls is not your, or your significant other’s, cup of tea, a nice understated Batman bust or Catwoman statute on an end table or nightstand is the next best thing.

Cool statutes from your favorite anime or comic book universe can range anywhere in price from $25 to over $1,000. And since there is a statute for just about any fictional character with even a minimal fan following, there’s a lot of room for customization. The right statute, or statutes, tell everyone that comes in your home exactly what you’re about. They scream: “I’m a geek, I’m proud, get over it!” Look below for a few recommendations:

From Left to Right:

Aerith Gainsborough (Final Fantasy VII); Iron Man Mark XLII (Marvel); Yoda (Star Wars)

 


 

Life-Size Replicas

If you really want to go all-out with your nerd-cred, and you some how got an absolutely enormous tax refund, you can’t go any bigger than life-size replicas. Nothing really shows of your fandom to the world like a seven-foot tall xenomorph in the corner of your bedroom.

Granted, they will also probably scare to death any child under the age of 10, but that’s a small price to pay for being the envy of all your friends. Some of my personal favorites include:

Left to Right:

Xenomorph (Aliens); Captain America’s Shield (Marvel); Han Solo in Carbonite (Star Wars)

 


I hope I’ve given you at least a little something to think about heading in to this tax season. While we all probably should be responsible with our tax refunds, the simple truth is that at least a little bit of that money needs to be enjoyed. You worked hard all year, so don’t be afraid to do something special for yourself, even if it’s not a life size replica of Han Solo in carbonite.

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